I know it seems as if I deserted you all and tossed in the towel on this book-writing adventure but I assure you I did no such thing. Once I finished my first draft and involved the peer editors, the course of my writing took a backseat to my other responsibilities and I began to lose interest in jumping back into my story. Although some constructive comments were the result of my peers reading and critiquing the book in its infantile form, I ultimately considered the exercise a loss since no real gains occurred.
So back to the drawing board I went, all alone and quite lost, until I decided it was time for a break from it all. I pushed the story to the side and didn't even give it a second glance for months. My family and I enjoyed a summer of fantastic travels to places near and far, including Galena, Illinois; Kona, Hawaii; and Alta Loma, California. The kids and I spent every available moment at the YMCA pool and at the lake in our neighborhood, soaking up the sun and sharpening our swimming and diving skills.
Once school resumed, I had every intention of jumping in again to the story-telling world but allowed myself to become distracted by each call for help from the community and by a part-time job that actually gives me what they call a paycheck! In the process I achieved a new social life and have made countless new friends and am actively dating my husband again now that we are knocking on 40's door! There have been weddings, funerals, personal accomplishments (I ran my first half-marathon), a seventh-grader's grueling athletic, musical and social calendar, carpools and appointments with specialists to keep me busy since I last wrote and I am loving it all.
Suffice it to say that I have found a glimpse of happiness in my everyday life and for that, I am grateful. But, I lost the desire to edit my all-consuming story of despair and overcoming mountains of fear because I just wanted to leave that part of me in the past to rot in the ground like all else that I have buried in that graveyard. I lost sight of the reason I wrote that first draft to begin with and realized that I may actually be afraid of finishing that story because it would mean moving on for good. After more than ten years, it still defines me in large part.
Learning this, I have decided to again tackle my mountain one baby step at a time. I contacted my editor and did the most excruciating thing I could possibly have done; I asked for help! God willing, my story will be told for all to read!
Have a blessed day and take one piece of advice from me...NEVER give up on what is important to YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment